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Lauren Kay, co-founder of the Dating Ring, says it is a bit of a chicken or egg situation.
Chen adds that "until there's word-of-mouth, and enough people to generate a quality experience, the marketplace will suck." So lesbians who have primarily heterosexual friends might not know about the app, and gay women who hang out with other gay women probably see people they already know on the app (aka exes they'd rather not see ever again). "We talked to a lot of people, including founders of other dating sites, and gay women we were friends with," Tessler says. When Tessler decided to start online matchmaking service The Dating Ring two years ago, she couldn't get nearly enough gay women to match with the few gay women who had signed up for the service."On one hand, it's great that these girls have a venue in which to explore their sexuality safely, but on the other hand, I've learned a few times on first dates with women I met online that they've never been with a woman before," she says."This is not necessarily a problem, but sometimes it's hard to gauge if someone is feeling experimental versus being very much past that stage." A straight-identifying friend even told me she sometimes turns her Tinder to women-seeking-women to chat with women even though she'd "probably never do anything." Enough false-positive matches like that would turn anyone off.
"Tinder changed the landscape of online dating a little," my friend Nomi*, 30, who identifies as queer, said. Dating apps nowadays make me want to move to a cave in the mountains and change my name." Another friend of mine, also named Lindsay, 34, who also identifies as queer, echoed similar sentiments, saying that she hates lesbian dating app Her because it's too much like Tinder in all the wrong ways.